I honestly thought way back in September that during this last week of classes I'd be balled up on my bed crying for tire swings and all things childhood. Either that or constantly peeing my pants. Really, it was a toss up between the two. Who thought I'd be making food! Not me. Well, maybe me. But I guess diapers were more involved than they really are. Pee+Food! Score one for me, again. Yeah, place that little white chalk mark of win between the one for slipping on ice with a squishy burrito in my hand and the one for all the times my hat has ridden up my unshapely head. My chalkboard is almost full! What to buy with all my win points... hmm... Back to the food! So I bought this gluten-free pizza mix during a period of Lucia's Eating So Well Better Pull Out The Big Bucks For A Little Did She Know Not Worth The Cost Specialty Item. I mean, the stuff is good. But they put the pizza herbs in the dough, which is so not cool in my book (Perhaps it is a book of win? Can one have both a chalkboard and book of win?). My book of win clearly states that all true pizzas should only have the herbs in the sauce. But it also says that I'm a fool for thinking that this would be a true pizza. So, hmm. But as much crap as I've said about this poor little pizza he(you heard me) really was pretty good. I've got to find a damn lid for my large sauce pan. I'm having trouble melting cheese. It is a problem of growing proportions and keeps me up at night. It's not like I'm missing out on much. My dreams usually consist me chopping, cooking, draining and then eating broccoli. Fucking obsessed, I tell you.
Chow, Lucia
Thursday, December 13, 2007
COOKED: Gluten-Free Pan Fried Pizza Or Damn Do I Know How To Have A Good Time
COOKED: Onion Dal Or Once, Twice, Three Times A Pile Of Dog Barf!
So here is a picture of my lentils before they turned into dal. Aren't they lovely? Don't they just appear to be fantastic? Stop it. Stop it right now! You know what they will look like, so I'm just showing you before the magic happens. Because really, who wants to see another posted picture of dog barf? Such delicious dog barf, regardless.
COOKED: Sweet Potato Hash Or Shh, They're Like Potatoes... Only... Ah, Well, Only Better.
The day before my last three days of school was so nice. I did homework and ate. Oh, wait. That's all I ever do. Well, hey, then my life is nice! What? Socialize? You kid me. Pffft. What do you call sitting next to people in class huh? Hmm. Subject change real quick. I just noticed that when I'm thinking these entries while I type I have an insanely dirty mouth. I (in my head) emphasise each sentence with a "fuck" or a "balls" or "fucker!" or "eat my metaphorical balls!" to say the least. Again, all in my head. It's more or less my second home. Anyway, what was I posting about? Oh yeah, hashed sweet potatoes. They're way good! I also put in onions and carrots as usual. I will tell you that I thought about putting in some celery, but it drooped in a most pathetic manner when I pulled it out of fridge (and thusly quickly said a prayer or two and placed it in the trash). I'm just kidding. I don't pray! Only when I damned. See that? I'll stop. No one wants to hear what I'm really thinking. I'll continue to censor myself. All for the sake of my lovely readers.
COOKED: Flour Tortillas Or Oh, The Cravings After A 2 And 1/2 Hour Nap
That's right. I took a nap that long. It was amazing. I didn't even cognize that I was tired, not until I hopped onto my bed to turn on the light next to it. That final Spanish portfolio that's due tomorrow? Yeah, it's due tomorrow. I totally had this plan to finish it tonight and be all sorts of greats (me, that is) but it will have to wait until tomorrow. What did I do that made me so tired? Who knows, life maybe. Anyway, on to the food! I woke up with a belly aching for tortillas. But not enough to walk half a block to the market and peruse the two isles for old, no-college-student-gives-a-shit-about-you-tortillas. I don't think anyone buys anything there except pop and chips. Oh, excuse me, I forgot to include milk. That's right. Bros will still drink their milk. To start a day of beer-pong off the right way! Sometimes I see their moms pull up in their large SUVs to help Timmy or Derek with the laundry. (I am) so nice. But really, who could resist making fun of boys that have, on more then one occasion, insisted on only making incoherent vocal noises at me while walking past me, such as grunts or screechs. I'm not talking about cat calls. Nope, just hoarking and hissing, all that good stuff. So, back to the tortillas! I was tired from the nap so they're thick little buggers, but I like them. They're mine. My delicious, fat children who I made and then ate like any sensible person would. I made them into quesadillas. Mmm.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
REVIEWED: Falafel "Sandwich" Or Beans Beans Beans Beans Beans
Hummus drizzled over falafels? Yes please. Beans drizzled over beans? Yes please. I got this pita sandwich from a semi-new mediterranean deli (aptly named "Mediterranean Deli") here in Dinkytown. I hope they get business (there weren't many people there at all), as there are roughly three types of humans in Dinkytown, from what I can tell:
1. Coffee slurping coffee lovers who will get a muffin if they can muster the will.
2. Bros. (See: Pizza and/or Liquor store)
3. Cranky old men who are homeless 50% of the time.
It's an approximation, people. Also I won't say if I fall into one of these categories or not (some say #3, and I'd be rude to disagree in any sort of frank manner) as you can make a decision for yourself. I love blogs. It's like talking to people when all I've got is this math book for company. Oh, I guess my calculator counts as well. Sorry I forgot you there for a sec, Cassidy Casio.
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Or What Champions Are Made Of
These were all I ate before I presented like none other has (or ever will) about the history of North Korea. Regardless of what I am, I have always believed these to be a treat of the gods. Including the raisin part. What's with the oatmeal raisin hate anyway? Sometime in the future I'm going to replace the raisins with grapes in these cookies, for kicks. Well and for giggles, I suppose. I had no brown sugar, so these were lacy little devils.
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Sweet Potato Chips Or It's Been Such A Long Time! Take Off Your Skin, Let Me Put It In The Trash Darling!
Gotta love the ever versatile tuber. Why, the options are endless! Me? I choose to either fry it chip or french fry style. Maybe, just maybe I'll try mashed potatoes later! Oh, and can't forget that hash! I'm being mildly sarcastic here. Can you tell? I need to work on this whole thinking what I'm typing thing. By work on I mean further perfect upon. ...Guys, sometimes sarcasm has layers, like an onion... like me. Like me cooking an onion to sweet sweet carmelized unbeknowst heights of beauty.
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Noodles and Tomato Sauce Or Dinner: Sexified
The tomato sauce is made from fresh tomatoes, expelled of their seeds, cooked in a bit of olive oil with a clove of garlic until they've loosened up a bit (uptight little things that they are). After that, a generous portion of greek yogurt is melted in. The noodles were special too, as they were gluten-free rice noodles. Personally, I like their consistency. I've had a brand in the past that was gummy, but this kind was just fine. It's not like I'm going to tell you the brand though. Maybe if you ask nicely or something. I'm busy being lazy at my computer, can't you see? Can't you see that?
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Cranberry Orange Sugar Cookies Or Where Is Lucia?
Because I couldn't possibly be at my place. No! No one would ever expect to find white flour and white sugar at my place. Lucia doesn't eat those things, she doesn't cook with those things. Well, did you think I'd talk in third person, too? Surprises, everywhere! Truth be told, I bought those heavenly ingredients for a party I threw. It was quite a crepe-y event. My friends can attest to that. Anyway, now I have this flour and sugar here and well, I won't be here for roughly a month this winter so... I've got to be a good kid and not let these things go to waste. I introduce you to Lucia's Home-dried Cranberry and Orange Zest Sugar Cookes (Hey look! Third Person again. Huh.) This was the first time I used my cranberries in any sort of recipe. Drying them was really easy, I put them in boiling water until they cracked, and then into a oven that had been preheated to 350 for about ten minutes, then turned off. After a night in the oven, they went above my fridge to hang out for about a week. A long time, right? Honestly, I thought they'd get moldy or aquire some sort of wonky flavor. But they turned out just fine, and even better in cookies!
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Ceasar Salad (And Salmon) Or Mmm, If You Didn't Want To Kiss Me Before...
...God knows you want to now. Garlic and fish breath? Oh, behave. This lettuce was really great though. It wasn't typical romaine, which I often find to be bitter and watery. If I remember the name I'll edit this post...check back, my flunkies!
Chow, Lucia
PS By "flunkies" I mean my esteemed readers. Obvs.
COOKED: Swiss Chard and Potato Soup Or Boil Damn It
Mmm, BOILED LEAVES IN THEIR OWN BROTH. But really, what a lovely dinner. It was super filling and the potatoes were thinly sliced so they weren't too boorish for my lovely chard. I used a full head of the swiss chard, but, like always, it cooked down to a reasonable portion within minutes. What else, what else... hmm... I suggest you cook this. I've noticed I don't really do recipes on this blog, but that's mainly because I don't use recipes too often. Impressed? Nah, don't be. It's the damn lack of time that makes me so creative (but, for the record I didn't think up this recipe. Nope. My mom did).
FOUND: Orange Jelly Bellies Or Willy Wonka's Pad Aint Got Shit On The Rosedale Super Target
Do you ever find things? Magical things? Delicious, edible things? Because I did yesterday. I managed to get over to the Super Target in Rosedale. You know how Super Targets have those big grocery sections? Well, they apparently also have half an aisle dedicated to large dispensers of Jelly Belly jelly beans. They come in those dispensers like coffee, where there's a grate under it to catch all the spewed jelly beans... needless to say someone made a mess yesterday. There were jelly beans, right there, just waiting for me. Calling out to me, in that bright orange seductive manner of theirs. I'm not claiming to be an artist, but I felt I needed to draw the scene.
Chow, Lucia
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
COOKED: Not Baked Tilapia, But Some Other Type Of Fish Or Ode To The Fish
Ode To The Fish
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Beet, Orange and Jicama Salad Or Oh, The Never Ending Supply Of Beets
I still have a few in my fridge. Man. I AM NOT A GENIUS. I cannot make myself want something. It has to come from deep within, from a source of a most inexplicable nature. Hunger. But for what? This time it was for beets. Again! This time, I roasted them. Real thin, real thin. I don't really have to explain this dish, what you see is that you get. I should really retrieve my pepper shaker from the spot behind the stove however. He was the only spice in my life, sigh.
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: Eggplant Sandwiches Or This Is Your Brain Speaking
Your brain is speaking to me. Yes, it really is. There's no denying it, there's no reason to even be ashamed of it. I know what you're thinking. You're think this looks good. But, not for dinner. Oh no, no no no! Not at all. This is a lunch. Nothing more, nothing less. Well my friend, how right you are. Never again will I doubt you. What now? You wish the cheese had melted? Child, you ask too much of me. Sigh, I thought we were on the same page. Back you go. Where to? Oh, you know. You know.
Chow, Lucia
COOKED: A Fried Medley Of Sorts Or Hey, Now, Let's All Be Friends.
Cravings. They crawl up, stick to you, eat at you. Once you fulfill that craving, I can't think of anything else so wonderful. I get high off food. Anyone who has seen me sit down to dinner after a long day will notice that shine in my eye, that intense sparkle... of addiction.
Thusly, I sometimes get cravings that I don't really understand. This was one of those days. "God... I'm so hungry. More rice? Yuck. I... I... damn. What the hell am I going to eat? Everything seems nasty. Except for that ginger. Man. Why can't I just eat the ginger? Damn. I... I... hey... that pepper looks, no I can smell the juciness of that pepper." So I did what I wanted. I ate the ginger. Sliced and fried baby, with some potatoes and a bit of the pepper. But I mostly ate the pepper raw. And it felt so good.
COOKED: Fried Rice Or This Isn't What Made My Coat Smell Bad
Guys, I cooked this such a long time ago. It's been at least a month. But I just rocked a presentation on North Korea and am back for a post. Or two. We'll see how far I get.
So I bought some frozen salmon from Gopher Grocery and thought I'd give it a whirl in what else but Lucia's favortie dish, fried rice. First I defrosted/cooked the salmon in a pan. I wanted to keep it whole but that just didn't happen, so I decided to... flake it. Then I tossed in the rice and went on my merry way. I also love cilantro. It made the rice very nice and flavorful. Quite quite.
Chow, Lucia
